Chop wood, carry water ... and gather kindling

January 2025

Since I have no wish to start my first newsletter of the year with doom and gloom I will simply say that this month has been, for me, very much focused on the “chop wood, carry water¹” actions that are a very necessary part of life.

However they haven’t been my only focus.

Back at the very beginning of this, the longest of months, the wonderful Dr Alice Tarbuck mentioned, over on Bluesky², that each January she chooses a word to live the year by and asked anyone else who had chosen one to share theirs. I hadn’t, when I started to read her post, chosen a word myself but I knew in that instant what mine had to be:

Kindle; as in to kindle a fire.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

But as well as kindling the spark that produces actual flame - as I find candle light incredibly beneficial at any time of year - I want to be kindling other kinds of sparks.

Specifically those sparks that fire us in more ephemeral ways; kindness, interest, love, hope. The things I, and I think most people, need if they are to fully live, rather than merely exist.

Since, in order to kindle a flame, you not only require a spark but also the kindling - to catch and turn that spark into a flame that burns long enough to set the main logs on fire - kindling must be gathered before you can kindle anything. Thus the other thing I’ve been doing throughout this grey and stormy month is considering what kindling I need to properly start those ephemeral fires within myself and how best to gather it given my personal situation.

As you can see, I have made a start:

I’ve chosen four physical books to read throughout the year - Change Your Life: Essential Poems of Rainer Maria Rilka, The Quiet Moon by Kevin Parr, Nature’s Calendar by Kiera Chapman, Lulah Ellender, Rowan Haines and Rebecca Warren, The Way Through the Woods by Rebecca Beattie - three of which are already helpful divided into months and seasons. Not only will these help shape the pattern of my year I believe they will aid my focus on the world around me and point me to interests, research paths, and creative avenues that I would otherwise not have considered.

I have unearthed one of my oldest and best beloved tarot decks, which as you can see lives in a holder I made myself (the body is knitted, as is the top flap but that has then been edged in crochet). This will not only to be used for the one card draws I share in every newsletter but will also be worked with at least once a week. Tarot helps me process my hopes and fears and give my brain space to allow my thoughts to coalesce and my emotions exist without judgement and having let my use of lapse over the last year I feel it is important to bring it back.

The tiny brass Wren, whom I bought as a belated Midwinter present to myself once all the Wildwood Advent stories had been shared, is there as reminder to actually give myself credit for the things I accomplish. And I don’t just mean big things here. This is for when I get to the end of the day and the bit of my brain that likes to criticise everything starts questioning whether I’ve achieved anything at all. It is a reminder to answer that horrible voice with the fact that simply getting to the end of another day is an achievement, never mind all the concrete things that I’ve done like laundry or cooking or shopping or fetching medication or any of the many other caring tasks that make up the majority of my days (never mind the ongoing house situation).

And lastly - but not finally - the crocheted shawl is just one of the items I’ve crafted that I’ve fetched from where I’d carefully stowed them and instead of “keeping them for best” I’m wearing/using them regularly. We are continually being reminded, by the barrage of news we are battered by every day, that life is short. I will not wait for the mythical right time any more, I shall just make the best of what I have from moment to moment.

The reason I said not finally in the previous paragraph is that the photo does not show all the types of kindling I’ve gathered so far and intend to use throughout this year:

My actual Kindle holds another four books - A Poem for Every Winter/Spring/Summer/Autumn Day - that allow me to bookend every single day with a poem and adds a creative element to my daily rituals.

In another thing-I-saw-on-Bluesky moment I participated in a repost and like meme titled “1 like = 1 thing that brings me joy” and doing it made me feel so much better I have decided to add it to evening journalling habit and end each entry by describing a joyous thing that either happened during the day or has just popped into my head. It feels a little like a gratitude journal but with, somehow, less pressure.

In a similar vein I will continue my “the small things spreading joy” project, photographing and then sharing the things I see that lift my heart as I go about my days. It’s good knowing that I can put something positive out into the world each day and make at least one other person smile.

I shall keep taking myself outside into the world as often as I can. I aim to get a walk at least five days out of seven, even if it’s only a quick mile on the footpaths through the bottom half of the village, and get outside - if only to stand in the garden for five minutes - every single day unless it’s actually storming so hard I daren’t open the door. This will combine nicely with the habit I started last year of making a daily log, in a specific diary, the birds and mammals I encounter each day.

And, actually finally³, having spent this month participating in January Writing Hours - which I’ll be talking more about in the Herding Words section - I have several other courses that I intend to work through over the year. Each of them should stretch my writing abilities in different directions and offer me more opportunities to find other bits of kindling to start types of fire I haven’t even considered yet.

If this concept of kindling appeals to you, please do feel free to work with it however it would most benefit you. And do let me know, if you’re comfortable sharing!

Also, if you know someone else who you think you would find this idea helpful, do feel free to share this newsletter with them:

Herding Words

As mentioned above, this month has seen me participating in the January Writing Hours run by Clare Shaw and Kim Moore, who also have an excellent substack that you should check out immediately. Every morning throughout January, at 10 am sharp, the zoom link opened and we were all (somewhere between one and two hundred people each day, I think) transported to a virtual space where poetry and prompts combined to get us all creating no matter how januaryish we felt.

It was such a wonderful experience, I managed to make twenty six of the thirty one sessions, and has given me some absolutely brilliant inspiration, and a huge amount of raw material to potentially continue working on.

I intend to spend February writing up everything I got down during those hours - currently everything’s in my notebook in pencil scribbles - revisiting the poems that were shared, and then whittling down the raw material into some semblance of a ‘things to work on’ list.

I do, however, want to share this incredibly rough and ready “zero draft” of a poem that I wrote this morning from the second prompt of the hour, which was focus on a moment of friendship.

Not there, still present

We don’t have to be together
to brighten the other’s day.

The ping of a text saying
“saw this and thought of you”
is enough.

For, each time, we feel the other’s arms
around us, holding us to their heart.

Wrangling Yarn

I am back to my half an hour a night of crocheting before I sleep and the mystery box continues to be both mysterious and delightful.

As you can see I have worked through two shades of green, two shades of blue, and now a purple is just starting to appear.

Based on the pattern I think there will be one more colour change before the yarn runs out and I’m hoping it will be a darker purple, so the overall effect is a sort of field-at-twilight, but we shall see!

Living Life

Re the “moving to Northumberland” project, there has been much signing of documents for my parent’s house sale but no dates for exchange or completion have yet been agreed, so all positive thoughts for this sale actually happening are very welcome. I am currently trying to chose a removal firm that also has storage options, as well as sort out emptying their loft. The loft is merely time consuming but choosing a removal firm is left straight forward so any and all recommendations are gratefully received.

I continue to be beset by perimenopausal fuckery and am trying - and struggling thanks to the brain fog - to get my head around the advice in the many books that kind people on all corners of the internet recommended to me. So far upping my magnesium intake, adding evening primrose oil to my multivitamin, and increasing the amount of protein I’m eating seems to have helped a little but I’m still fighting fatigue a lot of the time.

I had hoped that much of the fatigue was being caused by a very elderly and unsuitable mattress but, having found the funds to buy a new one in the January sales, I have established that whilst it absolutely was contributing to my exhaustion it wasn’t the sole, or even main, cause of it. Still, I’m loving getting into bed and not sinking almost on to the divan whilst hearing the springs clank ominously.

Oh yes, and I participated in the RSPB’s Big Garden Birdwatch last weekend and, for once, the birds didn’t desert me during my hour of counting; eight blackbirds, two magpies, three crows, four wood pigeons, two robins, thirteen sparrows, two blue tits, three great tits, seven long-tailed tits, two bullfinches, two wrens, two dunnocks … even the Jay turned up and landed on the lawn for a second!

One Card Tarot Draw

This year I’m using the Druidcraft Tarot, written by Phillip & Stephanie Carr-Gomm and illustrated by Will Worthington. Focusing on a mix of Wiccan based witchcraft and the teachings of OBOD (the Order of Bards, Ovates, and Druids⁴, which Phillip lead for thirty three years) I find it to be both a very grounded and grounding deck, something that feels very necessary at this current moment in time.

So, what does the deck think we might want to consider during February?

Fear and anxiety are completely reasonable in these troubled times, yet if you can try to let them flow around you - as the tide splits around a rocky promontory - rather then being swept away by them and losing your footing.

Do not rush to judgement, especially not in the immediate aftermath of whatever you are dealing with. Take a moment to breathe, to consider your options, your actions, and - no matter how alone you might feel - how others can help you. Your core is strong, like a well tempered sword, and you can draw on that at will.

Lastly, I offer you a blessing for the coming month, this time not one I’ve written myself but a traditional Irish blessing often offered at Imbolc⁵:

May the blessings of light be on you,
Light without and light within,
May the blessed sunlight shine on you till it glows like a great peat fire.

1. This phrase comes from zen buddhist proverb that, in full, reads “Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water.” I have always interpreted this to mean that regardless of whatever else is going on in the world, however you are feeling, you still need to do the things that keep you functional. This way, when the opportunity for you to make something better appears, you are able to seize that moment and make the most of it.

2. You need to be logged into Bluesky to see Alice’s profile.

3. For now, at least, since I’m going to keep looking for different sorts of kindling in the months ahead.

4. My formal introduction to Druidry was via their bardic course and I remain a member.

5. If you have not come across the term Imbolc before, or are interested in how I celebrate this particular spoke on the Wheel of the Year, you can read more over on my blog.